10 Days till I am home!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So it has been a while.  I haven't had internet access which has kinda sucked.  Anyway a little update on what happened in Flint.  While I was there, there were two shootings of which my team saw both.  It was over stupid shit like sleeping with someone elses boy friend or losing at a game of dice and someone taking someone elses Xbox for payment.  Lets just say I have never felt so unsafe in my life.  I didn't realize it but I actually took feeling safe for granteed. I don't think I will ever do that again.  While in Flint I jumped at every sound even if I was sleeping. I shared a basement with two people and whenever anyone made a noise I would jump up in my bed.  Let's just say I got no sleep and my nerves are shot.  It was an experience I will never forgot.  I learned a bunch.
   I am back in Vinton IA for closure which ends on August 5.  Mom and Dad are coming for graduation which I am so excited about.  I can't wait to see them.  After graduation we are driving along the Mississippi River to Chicago and I arrive in Boston at 10pm.  Thank you Lauren for picking us up by the way. 
   My mind is going crazy I have so much to do and I don't know what order I should do it in. I am living in the Cottage now so I have offically lived in every dorm on campus. It is pretty nice and newly renovated.  My room is HUGE. There are beds and stuff for four people by I only have one roommate.  I same roommate I had for last transition.  Anyway I will write more later.  LOVE YOU

33 days and counting

     With 33 days left of AmeriCorps I have been thinking about a bunch of things.  But first I want to update everyone about what I am up to.  This past week has been alright.  I went to work on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday not feeling really good.  I had been feeling down lately and sleeping a bunch but I thought that was just because I was missing home.  But on Thursday I wasn't feeling very good.  Since I stayed home last week cause I wasn't feeling good I couldn't stay home without going to the doctor.  I went to the doctor where I spent about 2 and a half hours.  It turns out that I have a really bad sinus infection that is causing my stomach to not like me. I have had sinus infections before and they have never made me feel like this before. So they gave me tons of medications and told me I had to stay home on Friday as well.  Today we drove to Grand Rapids where Matti lives to spend the Fourth of July.  The plan was to go to the beach all day and then go to Matti's sister show.  I ended up staying back at Matti's Mom's house because I am stilling feeling like crap.  I am spending the day here trying to get better so I can go to a cultural center and have a BBQ with my teammates.

    I noticed just now that spending time with my team is important to me and not spending the day at the beach.  During this year I have grown a bunch.  I think I am still me but I am more comfortable. I like spending time on my own reading but I miss everyone at home. Being in AmeriCorps has made me really appreciate the life that I had at home.

    Working in Flint has made me realize what some people in this world feel about material things.  We are working in section 8 housing where some people pay $1 for rent for a month.  But these people have play stations, X box 360's, more clothes than you could imagine, 4 strollers, computers, a huge TV's. These are just some of the things we have found in an apartment that people left.  People left all of these things behind in their apartment.  It hit me really hard.  If you can't afford to pay rent how do you have the money to buy all those things and then leave them behind.  I went into one of the rooms and it was a young girls room.  There was a kitten calendar on the wall and the where two things posted on the calendar.  One said it was her prom and the other one was her birthday.  I saw that and it made me sad.  

    I get to work at 8 everyday and no one in the whole complex is up until about 10 or 10:30 and that is when the parents kick the kids out of the houses because they are being too loud.  By 1 or 2 o clock the adults are up.  I wish I could understand this place but I can't.  Sometimes we hear kids screaming and crying and then we hear a smacking sound and the parents yelling.  This is parents hitting their children and it kills me every day.  I know I can't do anything because it is not a safe place but I wish I could do something.  One day we were coming back from lunch walking by one of the apartments and once we passed it a boy was pushed of the stoop and hit with a bat.  A women, who looked like his mother was yelling at him and holding a bat.  We got to our apartments and went inside.  I felt so unbelieving bad for that boy. I knew these kinds of things went on but I had never had to see them.  I wish the world was a better place and that people were all good.  I guess that is something that I had to learn.

    I am going to try and change the world.  Or help people change the world. I like material things but that's not what really isn't important, the people in your life are important not the things you have.  Sorry this is all over the place.  I am just realizing a bunch of things now.

   When my niece Addie was born I was so happy for my sister and Matt, but sad because I wasn't going to be around for the first year of her life.  But I was helping people that needed me and I will have the rest of Addie's life to spend with her.  Sometimes you just need to let go and do something different.even if it has been one of the hardest things you have had to do.  Being in AmeriCorps has tested me more than anything.  I have been tested physically by carrying pots of plants that are too heavy for me, working long hours, installing rain gardens in 90 degree weather, working in section 8 housing with people beating their children and screaming and yelling. Now I know that I really want to teach Severe Special Education students. I want to help the kids in this world that can't help themselves.  Okay so that was a long winded blog. That is everything on my mind. 

   I wanted to let you guys know what I am doing after AmeriCorps is finished.  I graduate on August 5th. I get home to Boston August 7th and Lauren is picking me and my parents up at the airport.  The next day my parents and I are going to New Jersey to visit my sister, Matt, and Addie.  This will be the first time I have seen them since April.  I can't wait to see them. After visiting them I will be home in Framingham for a while.  On August 22nd I am going to volunteer at Sunshine Camp in Maine for terminally ill kids and their families.  I will be there until August 30th.  I will spend a week at home in Framingham and then I am going back to New Jersey to visit Becky, Addie, and Matt for about a week.  After that I will be home for good and I will be working with Conor again.

   I can't wait to be home with you guys.  I will be home in 35 days.  Miss you and love you all.  Comment if you want.